Staring at the Sun
by foxyboy
Summary: A yaoi series set in an alternate storyline featuring the Lampdragon bandits. I know that they aren't popular but then again, popular characters are not what a good fic makes. A quasi-introspective look at how non-Yaoi fans look at Yaoi people.
1. Default Chapter

Staring at the sun - Introduction  
---  
  
Hello to you, whoever's reading this. May I start off by saying that you're such a nice guy for paying attention to this fic since I know that there aren't a lot of people who like Koyu. it's either that you like Koyu or just a big fan of Shota and you expected to see some Shota in this fic.  
  
First thing: Too bad. There is sex, but I don't elaborate on it because this fic was made to give examples of homosexual persecution. I didn't write this for the sheer PWP-ness that accompanies almost every yaoi fic out there. You'll need some brains to understand this and I hope that you aren't here just for the sex. And if you happen to be a non-yaoi fan, please stick around as well. I hope I can open your eyes to how we feel and to show you that we all aren't just crazy, sex-starved maniacs.  
  
The fic will roughly run up to thirteen to fifteen chapters. As of the moment you are reading this, I have just finished chapter eight. Please stick around for the rest, okay? You can't expect someone to keep on typing, right? I have a life too, if you may not believe that.  
  
The title was taken from a song by "Offspring". The final chapter will be a songfic concerning this song. I hope you can wait that long for the final chapter. 


	2. Time to Think

Chapter one: Time to think  
Location: Gregminster- Lo's place  
  
Please take into account that this is AU. Not so very AU but still, it's AU.   
---  
  
Lo's place wasn't as shabby as he thought it might turn out but still, the idea of his sister suddenly becoming rich, popular or even both, seemed to be slightly weird...  
  
He didn't realize it until now, but it seemed to him that he never wanted Lo to become successful. Maybe it was because of the fear that she'd change. To start off, Lo wasn't a very stable woman and the fact that her temperature shifted like the weather made him even more hesitant of accepting any kind of drastic change in family personalities.  
  
And having to use that damned calculator day after day was putting too much of a strain on his head...  
  
"Sister Lo..." He missed his home back on mount Lampdragon. He missed the fact that he used to be surrounded by so many friends, brothers and sisters, and this made the tears in his eyes well up even more. Even more than the day he had to leave behind everything he thought mattered the most to him.  
  
And now he's here, in a city that he never even knew of and helping his sister with a project that didn't even look like it could hold a candle of a chance in this unbelievably vast and populated city of Gregminster.  
  
"If only I could go home..." It wasn't because he disliked his older sister or because he hated the idea of living forever in a foreign town. It just wasn't for him... And he knew so well that it wasn't for Lo Wen or Gijimu either.  
  
"Koyu! You still haven't finished unpacking the rest of the cases! Get your butt over here and I mean it!" Just like sis... even though she sometimes acts like the high-grand uber-bitch, I like her that way...  
  
I walk from my seat and look down at the doorknob that I held. So many years of memories are engraved on these rough, calloused hands. Hands that fought, hands that killed, hands that carried the weight of so many lives: Lives that continue and lives whose flames have burned out with the passage of time and blade.  
  
Why do I have to pick up my axe and strike down other people? And for what? Does it all have to fall under the basic need for money? Why do so many lives have to be destroyed in the process of being self-centered?  
  
Maybe I fight for some other reason. Maybe it isn't money but something equally selfish. Is it because I fight for what everyone else wants? Not my own but at the same time my personal wish...  
  
And now, where am I? I'm somewhere so far away, with no one anymore to fight with or to fight for. All I have to fight against now are the occasional badass customers but other than that, I think all my years of living have fallen into nothing. I don't want to stay here, in Gregminster, in a place that was so far away from where I believe I belong... But now, there's nothing left for me to return to other than makeshift graves and a heaping pile of ash...  
  
The place where I was raised is no longer alive and there's nothing I can do to bring it back other than to just wait...  
  
I've lived there all my life... I knew every single part of the village like it was the back of my hand... Even if it isn't there, I want to go back.. Go back to a place that I remember keeping so many memories, even if they're all charred and smoking already... Yes, I may be melodramatic but I want this... I know I do and I know that this is all that'll make me happy... The only thing that can make me happy...  
  
The only thing that I wanted other than my family.  
  
I don't want to stay here. I want to go back; I want to rebuild the beautiful village that I loved so much. But I can't... Not without Sister Lo and Brother Gijimu... I don't want Lo to stay here all her life, in some city where we don't really belong...  
  
Lo's probably decided that we live here for the rest of our days, making money from her diner and living as we should have from day one. Not as the bandits that we were... Not as the bandit that I knew I was. She wanted so many things but I don't share her dreams... But as long as it'll make her happy... At least I know the other thing I loved the most was pleased, I can get some kind of consolation.  
  
I open the door and walk down the newly fixed stairs. All it took was one week for me, Lo Wen and Gijimu to turn this old, broken down warehouse into what everyone could call first class. Why can't we go back and do the same with the Village?  
  
"There you are! The packages are out back; could you...?" Lo Wen paused. "Are you okay, Koyu?" She asked as I rubbed my eyes free of tears.  
  
"Yeah, it's nothin'... Just got a little sentimental, that's all." He took his forearm off from his eyes and smiled like he always did at his sister.  
  
But still... Underneath that smile... Lie memories of a true Lampdragon bandit. And those memories aren't just going to go away anytime soon.  
  
He pushed past her, letting his sister close the door behind him. Opening the back door, he began to haul in the large crate. For other boys his age, this feat would seem impossible, but for Koyu it was something that he did almost everyday back home.  
  
I remember the time we built our home from scratch. I remember the time when I felt the satisfaction of being able to finally see something finished, something that was made by my hands and not someone else's.  
  
I remember the very fist time I had ever held a weapon... The same time when Gijimu instructed me on how to use an axe to cleave my enemies... He thought me how to kill but I never ended up angry at him... I practically begged him to teach me how to fight!  
  
I remember the days I would steal from those crazy Tinto people, leaving them oftentimes with their wallets empty.   
  
Every wound, every kill and every one that died... Every day, every hour, every minute, every second... It was in my head and it was never going to go away...  
  
Ironic isn't it? I speak of wanting to go back but I hate my memories... I never made sense, to anyone or to myself...  
  
But never mind that. All I can do is relive memories one after the other... All in my head.  
  
- End chapter one - 


	3. Boys of Lampdragon

Chapter two: Boys of Lampdragon  
Location: Mount Lampdragon (Flashback)  
---  
  
I dunno' why. I just feel like whatever it is I'm supposed to do, it's just plain wrong. I mean, why do I have to rob from all these traveler's when I could be doing something that would help all these guys out?  
  
And now, I'm just sitting here; behind some trees and rocks, getting ready to ambush some fat, wealthy, stupid Tinto traveler...  
  
"Koyu! Get into position! The carriage is coming through!" Yeah, whatever; should I really care? They're like almost every other traveler... They're rich and they're stupid... And how the hell did they get rich? I'm sure it wasn't because of hard work or anything like that. Sister Lo Wen says that it's all 'cause of... explo... exploitation or something like that. Maybe that's why brother Gijimu enjoys stealing from the Tinto people... Because they're just too dumb for their own good.  
  
"Koyu!"  
  
"Sorry!" Damn, thinking sucks. I'm probably gonna' get blamed if this fails... Time to hide...  
  
* * *  
  
The carriage slowly wheels in through the rocky mountain terrain, dozens of eyes watching its slow movement. Koyu watches closely from behind several trees, his breathing so weak that it seemed that he was holding it perpetually.  
  
The carriage was a dull, reddish-brown; it's only form of beauty being in the gold and platinum which adorned its sides and doors. The horses were equally beautiful and obviously owned by one who owns a considerable amount of potch. But other than the quasi-splendid vehicle, the only thing that seemed to distract Koyu was the amazing amount of guards that surrounded this obviously good source of potch.  
  
(Just a little more... A little more...) Koyu thought. They couldn't get past the guards and they surely couldn't defeat them if they took them head on. How many were they? We've got only about only four mountain bandits against nearly two-dozen soldiers? What would an axe do against their crossbows and military-use weapons?  
  
They now had to rely on Fumi completely... And Koyu had full faith in his friend.  
  
Fumi was another of the bandits that he treated like family. He was kind, intelligent and a strong warrior. Both he and Gijimu were like rivals but seemed more like friends than two people on opposing forces. Gijimu was a fearless warrior while Fumi was one of the few that were gifted in the arts of the runes within the Lampdragon bandits.  
  
Fumi was now all they had if they wanted any chance of breaking through the soldiers... And they all waited patiently for any form of magic to occur.  
  
Koyu looked up and saw Fumi in the treetops, his eyes closed and his left hand glowing weakly crimson. He seemed to be in deep concentration and Koyu made it his business to protect him if anyone noticed.  
  
Someone did, and arrows started flying.  
  
"FUMI!!!" Koyu yelled as he ran into the fray. He couldn't stop the arrows in mid-flight but he could try to stop the ones shooting them.  
  
***  
  
"Shit!" Fumi cursed as he jumped down from the treetops, the glow in his right hand fading as quick as a candles flame against the wind. An arrow whizzed past his ear, scratching the unprotected skin.   
  
"Damn you all!" Fumi yelled as he ran through the massive amount of soldiers, pulling out a dagger from his back; his forehead glowing a slight green. Fumi had three runes throughout his body and the one that decorated his forehead didn't need concentration to work with. Both he and Koyu share the same rune and this probably was the reason why the two of them were faster than almost every other bandit. Blood spurted all over Fumi's shirt as he stabbed a soldier in the neck, bursting his jugular vein. The crossbow he carried fell from his hands and unto the left hand of Fumi, who swiftly whirled around and accurately let loose the single bolt lodged in it's chamber. It cut neatly through the air and plunged itself in another soldiers wrist, forcing him to drop his carried weapon. The soldier screamed in pain but his scream was cut short as Koyu's axe created a nice gap in the soldier's skull. Kicking the Soldier in the chest, Koyu's axe freed itself and he immediately placed himself near Fumi.  
  
"Fumi! We need some kind of fire spell! Both brothers Joshua and Grey were already killed! I'll cover you!" Koyu valiantly deflected several arrows with his axe, only to feel the sting of one in his shoulder.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing?! Let's find some cover!" Fumi picked up Koyu and quickly ran back into the woods, soldiers only several meters behind.  
  
"What were you thinking?!" Fumi yelled out loud as he dodged a crossbow bolt while running through some foliage. "Trying to be some kind of martyr?! Just keep quiet and don't move." Fumi placed down his dagger in front of him as he tried to concentrate on casting a spell with his right hand. Koyu pulled three throwing daggers out of his breast pocket with his left hand and threw several of them back, hitting two soldiers in the legs. Even though he was injured, he believed that he should still fight in anyway he can...  
  
"...Thunder crashing through endless storm, let your spawn rip apart the land with undying anger! Earth will yield to the fury that you bear and let loose upon its breast! Thunder runner!" Fumi whirled around and faced his palm towards the soldiers that gave chase, the golden insignia of the lightning rune hovering high above his head. Lightning suddenly flashed from his hand and trailed the soil in a clear line three meters wide and up to fifty meters long. Koyu shut his eyes from the blinding light and clutched his shoulder when it suddenly throbbed with intense pain.  
  
It throbbed once more and he shut his eyes, the world going into darkness.  
  
***  
  
"Ungh..." God, my eyes hurt...  
  
I wake up to see myself surrounded by trees and sunlight. Although I know I'm in a forest, I can't hear any of the animals that I would normally hear... Sitting up, I feel a throbbing sensation in my shoulder.  
  
I remember... At least that ugly arrow is gone and now all I see are bandages.  
  
And now those trees are gone. Now replaced by the ugly, charred ground that Fumi seemed to have made.  
  
"Fumi?" I hold my shoulder in pain and walk around these forests looking for Fumi. Now that we've lost Brothers Joshua and Grey, that brings our total down to only 14 bandits... Brother Gijimu is getting more and more of us killed... Why won't he stop even for a month? And for what? Money? Is money worth the lives of all that have died?  
  
Fumi's there... Kneeling over the bodies of both our lost comrades.  
  
"Thank you Fumi... I know that it hurts you to always have to be the one that buries the dead..." Fumi is silent, only kneeling in prayer. He always does this, burying our friends. I know he cries when he does this but he knows that they deserve a decent burial. Even though there is no coffin, he just doesn't want to leave the bodies just lying there in the sun to rot.  
  
"Koyu... The carriage didn't even have enough money to supply all the bandits for two weeks worth of food. Now that that piece of Crap, Gustav, is starting to mine the mountains to death, all the trees are suffering. Slowly, they're dying... And with them gone, so are the animals... If only I killed that jerk when I had the chance, then the entire mountain and all of us wouldn't be suffering!"  
  
"We all know that it's their fault but what can we do? We just can't go and kill Gustav, right? The rest of the city state would have us killed!" I know you understand... And I know how you feel, but I don't think that that's the right thing to do...  
  
"I guess so... Let's get back home Koyu. I'll carry the Potch and whatever else. Just pick up your axe and hurry on to the village."  
  
"Are you okay with that Fumi? I just can't leave you here?"  
  
"You're wounded and I'm not; it's only logical that I carry it. Just go and don't stop. It was an official carriage and they might ask for back-up soon."  
  
"Yeah... you're right. I just hope that we're doing the right thing..."  
  
But then again, what would bandits know about the right thing?  
  
-End chapter two- 


	4. Seperate Singularity

Chapter three: Seperate Singularity  
Location: Mount Lampdragon-White Tiger Village (Flashback)   
(Notes: This chapter contains some slight yaoi implications. Don't hate me for it; I just like boy/boy relationships.)  
---  
  
It's already been a week since Grey and Joshua died and still the memories are etched into my head. Staring into their faces that were brutally disfigured sent chills running repeatedly up and down my back. Maybe it was my fault that they died. Fumi could have taken care of himself better without my help and maybe Grey and Joshua would have been alive if I helped them instead.  
  
Brother Gijimu always said: [It's impossible to forget the past... All we can do is try.] He's right, I s'ppose... But it's so hard to forget something that you know involves you...  
  
We fight, all of us. We know that we might not make it back and we know that we're risking our lives to keep going like this. Every time we rob an official carriage, we put all our lives at risk. The lives of those who fight and the lives of those who don't.  
  
"Are you okay, big brother Koyu?" It's lil' sister Yuki... I'm happy that at least I've got someone taking good care of me while I can't fight. Brother Gijimu doesn't seem too interested in fighting or stealing for a while now and I'm happy for that.   
  
But he just doesn't seem the same... Something about Bro is so different... I don't know if it's because he doesn't want to steal or anything. Maybe sister Lo Wen's been giving it to him more often than usual, but I don't want to think about it.  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay Yuki... Thanks for asking. How's brother Fumi?" After two more deaths, I think he's taken too much stress... He cares so much for everyone, I think even more so than Brother Gijimu himself. And every time someone else dies, he takes the blame. He always says that it's his entire fault. That he wasn't there for them... That he wasn't strong enough...  
  
It's never his fault... But he won't listen... And he won't accept something he believes is a lie.  
  
"Brother Fumi is training, training at dragon falls! He's been there training all week long. Brother Fumi says that, when you're okay, he wants you to go there and talk to him. I have to go now Brother Koyu; mother says I have to be home early. Bye now!" Weird isn't it? Yuki is only eight years old but she has to work as a doctor with her mom. She sees people dying and bleeding almost everyday and she still seems to be okay.   
  
She's just like me... She's seen blood ever since her birth that it seems so normal to her. Like it's a natural thing for someone to be cleaved or stabbed...  
  
Like it's only natural for your friends to disappear, covered in a pool of their own red liquid.  
  
"Brother Fumi..."  
  
***  
  
The bandit boy walks across White Tiger Village, his body shirtless except for the bandages that blanketed his right shoulder. It's always the same after somebody dies... Fumi always goes behind the great Dragon falls and there he trains... Until he believes that he can protect everyone. When he thinks that he can be their brother again...  
  
And yes, he's there again; beating whatever he can out of a huge tree. His bandaged fists and shins are ripped but yet he trains harder and harder; the bark of the tree peeling off due to the excessive beating that he's been delivering. His fists bleed and his lifeblood trickles down his arms.  
  
Why does he kill himself for this?  
  
"Fumi... Please, stop. I'm here already..." Koyu says weakly, ashamed that he can't even ease the pain that Fumi feels within him.  
  
"Lil' bro Koyu... You... You're okay..." The older boy wheezes as he clutches his knees; sweat dripping from his brow like morning dew from leaves. He sits down and pulls some bandages out from his pocket, preparing to dress his wounds.  
  
"Fumi... Please, don't push yourself like this. I don't think..." Koyu pauses, his own voice beginning to lose it's strength at the memories. "I don't think that Joshua, Grey or any of our friends would want to see you do this..." Fumi looks up at Koyu, his bandaging coming to a quick halt.  
  
"No. I know that it's my fault. I'm supposed to be the leader when Gijimu isn't around and every time we fight... People die. People close to me... People that I can't protect... That's why I must become stronger."  
  
"Don't blame..." Koyu's sentence was cut short by the anger inside of the other.  
  
"What? Don't blame myself? Then whose fault is it?! Would they have died if I were there to help them? When I wasn't too busy with anything else? Our brothers are my first priority and I turn the thrill of killing into that. I value the death of my enemies more than I value their lives and I'm at fault for that... I always am..." He turns his eyes to the floor and cries. The blood on his hands is nothing compared to the inner pain he feels. The pain he feels for the community... His Family... For the Lampdragon bandits.  
  
I know you Fumi, you never placed killing above your brothers... But why won't you listen to me?  
  
"Koyu... I want you... to become strong. I don't think I can protect everyone, and maybe... I might not be able to protect you." All that remained was silence.  
  
"Please... become strong for your sake... and for mine." Fumi finished up his bandaging and stood up, limping slightly because of his wounded legs. He stood in front of Koyu, their four-year age difference making him almost two heads taller than the younger boy. His hands brought Koyu's face closer to his and his lips weakly kissed Koyu's... Both of them share similar wounds... Wounds embedded deep.  
  
...Both wounded souls...  
  
Why does he kill himself for this? Simply for all those who have been killed already.  
  
***  
  
The night sky was brilliantly clear and the stars seemed to twinkle even brighter tonight. Fumi gazed up at the moon while all that Koyu did was gaze into Fumi's eyes.  
  
"Big brother... you're eyes are so beautiful. Did anyone ever tell you that?" Fumi smiled. He was happy with Koyu and he knew Koyu was happy with him. Gijimu didn't approve of how he felt towards the small boy but neither did he stop him from being himself. He knew that Fumi liked other men from day one but he never expected him to fall head over heels for someone so young.  
  
"Thank you, Koyu." A sweet silence over took the two, as they lay underneath the stars, both of them as naked as how nature made them, minus the cloth bandages. Koyu's arm was draped over Fumi's chest and he could feel Fumi's deep and calm breathing. He watches Fumi's chest rise and fall with every breath and he thought about all that's happened ever since he started to fight.  
  
"How long has it been, Koyu? About five years, right?" He sighs and turns his attention to the small boy whose head was resting on his shoulder.  
  
"That's been five years of fighting for you and nine years of fighting for me. Has it been that long?" Fumi smiles. It's been so long since he raised a weapon against anyone in battle. It's been so long that the memories of their first kill disappearing like an unwanted memory.  
  
"I remember being just a little boy back then; so carefree and never thinking about my own safety. All I did was play all day long with the other kids..." His eyes, they are the eyes of one who reminisces about things that he felt mattered the most, holding the same sadness that he always carried with him...  
  
But they were far too young to reminisce. Youths thrust into the lives of adults.  
  
"But when the Tinto soldiers came to the village to kill all the bandits... That was my first time, my first time to witness a man dying. To witness blood gushing out of a wound as the victim struggled to fight back, only to drop dead at his opponent's feet. It was also then that I had to pick up my first weapon... And to take my first life." Tears well up in those sea-green eyes of his. Both of us were the same... We were taken in by the bandits as children and now walk down the same path of warriors that came before us.  
  
"A soldier was there, standing over the body of my sister that he himself had killed. I was shocked at first, but soon felt this pulse, this angry throb in my mind. I picked up a small kitchen knife that I saw on a table... And plunged it deep into his back. I didn't know why, but I pulled it out afterwards... His blood freely trickling down from the open wound." Those tears now slowly trickle down the sides of his face as he held Koyu's hands in a soft yet firm grip.  
  
Wasn't it like this when you're caught in fighting? Isn't it always the people that weren't supposed to fight the ones to wield the most dangerous weapons? In war, the ones who suffer the most are the ones not involved...  
  
"That's why... That's why I wanted to become stronger. There are people I must protect. Not just family... not just Mount Lampdragon... But for everyone that doesn't deserve to be abused. Maybe I'm being a little dreamy, maybe this idea is too cliché but I don't want anyone to feel the pain I felt when she died..."  
  
And now, his eyes clenched shut, his tears now becoming a heart-rending sob. He cries because he remembers everything that he's been through. And everything everyone else has been through.  
  
And no one else does...  
  
I can't help him. None of us can... He has to bear this kind of pain for his entire life and he can't even find a single shred of condolence in anything...  
  
"I'm so sorry Koyu; I cried again..." The young boy smiles back at Fumi, a weak, gentle smile. They stare at one another's eyes for what seemed like forever, never blinking... Never breathing... As if they were unconsciously caressing one another's heart and soul. Caressing without hands, without body... Above the casings of flesh and into the levels of the soul.   
  
Purely metaphysical. And completely pure.  
  
Fumi blinked and brushed his hands through Koyu's messy and oftentimes, unkempt hair; breaking the monotony and the trance that they were mutually in.  
  
"We'd better go back, Koyu; It's already late. They're probably worried sick about you and me." Fumi sat up, his eyes completely affixed on the brilliant crescent moon that hovered high above them. The clouds floated by on gentle breezes and the stars shined on throughout the clear, deep blue sky. Koyu stood up, his unabashed, naked body standing there, covered only by white cloth bandages around his shoulders. The wind blew between his bare legs, the grass tickling his young skin. He held out one hand, and picked Fumi up without any signs of difficulty other than a weak pulse in his shoulder. The two walked towards the piled up clothing that lay hidden underneath some grass and trees and took their time in dressing up. Fumi then adjusted his bandages and placed one arm around Koyu's shoulders and they walked on like that.... Like two people that truly understood the way one another felt... And the way one another felt about love.  
  
"I love you Koyu. I always will." Fumi said as he kissed Koyu on his head while in return, Koyu squeezed Fumi closer to him.  
  
"I'll always love you, brother Fumi... I always will."  
  
They were the same in a way, even though their faces weren't. They were so far apart yet at the same time, living the same dream. How could two people dream a dream that they never dreamt? They had feelings for one another like no one else and yet, they knew that it wasn't right. Indecisions can come later however, all that mattered was one another.   
  
And so the two continued back to the village... The beautiful moon and stars lighting back a path home.  
  
- End chapter three - 


	5. Fire in your eyes

Chapter four: Fire in your eyes  
Location: Mount Lampdragon-White Tiger Village (Flashback)  
(Notes: This chapter contains slightly violent scenes. I think that I'm supposed to give some kind of warning before a chapter chockfull of gore, so here it is. Don't pester me if you think it's a little on the overkill side.)  
  
---  
  
Fumi and Koyu arrived at the village, the silent sounds of evening surrounding them as the sounds of chirping crickets filled the village from almost every direction. The two kissed weakly as they parted ways, each going to their respective sleeping quarters to rest up for the night.  
  
I slipped into my bed, which was across the bed of a half-drunk Gijimu and remove my shirt; slipping underneath the thick cotton blanket, I fall asleep without any trouble.   
  
And the day ends... Tomorrow is another day; a day filled with possibilities and so many hopes.  
  
Yes, today is over... All there is now is the anticipation of a new day.  
  
I fall asleep... and dream.  
  
* * *  
  
(I can't get to sleep... No matter how hard I try, I can't get to sleep...) The boy with dirty blonde hair thought to himself as he lay there, staring at the ceiling in an almost hypnotic way. It's almost been an hour since he and Koyu went back and still he couldn't get the nagging guilt out of his head...  
  
"Maybe... a drink of wine... would help?" He mumbled as he slowly stood up; his mind slightly groggy due to lack of sleep. He walked, bare-footed, through the village. He walked towards the small bar that Lo Wen had put up as the start of a dream she wanted to fulfill.  
  
"Thank god it's still open. Lo's probably asleep, though... Better make sure not to wake anyone up." He opened the wooden door and quietly made his way to the storage room to pick up some wine. He opened yet another door and before him, lay dozens of crates filled with wine.  
  
"Wonder what kind to drink? I wonder what it was that Gijimu likes to drink a lot? Never mind, he'd probably drink cat piss if it could get him drunk." He fumbled through the different crates, inspecting the labels and from where they came from. The first one was from...   
  
"Kanakan? I've never heard of a place like that..." He mumbled as he pulled one bottle out from the crate. He uncorked the bottle and breathed in the luscious scent emanating from the newly opened bottle. It smelled like a fruit that he had once tasted... Fruit that came from the central-state Jowston region... Grapes? Was that what they called it? Yes, I believe that's what they called it. He took the bottle and a simple goblet and went out of the storage room. He sat down, lit an undecorated wax candle, and began slowly pouring the deep purple liquor. The vessel filled, and he brought it to his lips, sipping the wine slowly. He was never quite accustomed to wine or ale but he found this one pleasant and delectable.  
  
His head rested on the table's wood, his eyes focused on his goblet.  
  
Was he doing the right thing? Was falling in love with Koyu the right thing to do in spite of how he felt? If he was to follow his heart, how would the rest of the world see him? He was a boy that loved another boy and he knew that there was something wrong with this feeling.  
  
He knew that he shouldn't continue loving Koyu like he's always been doing.  
  
The world would always look down on both him and Koyu. They would be viewed as people who were, in the nicest possible way to put it, freaks of nature. It wasn't in a human's basic programming to love someone of the same gender, society had been sure to put limitations on how far they could get with freedom of expression...  
  
He wasn't afraid for himself and the persecution of all the people around him... He was worried for Koyu.  
  
Koyu would have to live as a person outside of society's care. He knew that Koyu wouldn't be able to handle taking life in stride like this, he sure didn't. Almost all of the bandits were disgusted by him, Lo Wen was one of the more sickened ones. She didn't like the idea of a boy being Koyu's lover. She didn't like homosexuals in the first place, much less someone that was obsessed with your younger brother.  
  
Why did he and his kind have to be looked at in such a perspective? Weren't they human beings like you and me? What made them so different from the rest of us human beings? Was it because they weren't afraid of showing how much they love someone?   
  
Wasn't he being courageous enough to stand up to the standards imposed upon him and the rest of the world by today's society? Shouldn't he be given some credit for his bravery? No, they didn't give him anything in return other than their scowls and contempt.  
  
Now, the entire world was clearly saying that to be in love was something to be abhorred. What was the difference in loving a man instead of a woman? Isn't love the same thing through everyone's eyes? If you could love a woman, why can't I love a man?  
  
The world was crazy, and maybe this was why everyone else loved alcohol. He took yet another drink, and filled his cup over and over again.  
  
Soon enough, he found the bottle empty. And just as soon, he was asleep.  
  
* * *  
  
All I can see is red...   
  
The crackling music of wood on fire echo throughout my surroundings, echoing in a hideous orchestra of omnipresent death. The heat seemed to be everywhere, wrapping in it everyone and everything that dared defy its anger.  
  
And all I can see is dead...  
  
People lie on the ground, burnt black. Some even lie on the ground, their clothes and bodies still in flames...  
  
And now a new sound... The sound of one that seeks battle...  
  
A war cry; the blaring trumpet of blood.  
  
Then people that bear no faces begin to surround me and all that weren't consumed by this inferno. Unarmed women and children die as steel meets flesh and the dying screams play a new instrument in this polyphony of savagery.  
  
I see people I know, swords being thrust into them and with blood flying everywhere.   
  
I see people I know, their eyes staring blankly nowhere as they lie on the floor.  
  
I see people I know... dead.  
  
And now, the men without faces walk towards me, bloodied swords in hand. I could feel the hot breath, like that of dogs relishing in the thrill of the hunt.   
  
...One lifts his sword above his head...  
  
...Brings it down in my direction...  
  
And I feel the pain of a thousand killed surging throughout my body.  
  
And then I feel nothing.  
  
* * *  
  
"Koyu! Get the hell out of that bed!" I awoke to feel my face crash onto the cold stone floor. I tried to look up and all I remember seeing was the ice blue battle robe that I recognized solely as Lo Wen's own. Beside her, she held the Falling star in both hands, its small yet heavy, iron weight dangling in front of my face. I felt her pull my hair and onto my feet and I felt her slap me several times to knock the sleep out of me.  
  
"Hurry up you sleeping idiot! The village is on fire!"  
  
Fire... Fire... Fire...  
  
F...I...R...E...  
  
Just like in that dream...  
  
Lo Wen threw me my clothes and embedded the axe on the floor for me to pick up later. I pick up my fur and leather guard-robe and hastily begin to clothe my self in preparation of a battle...  
  
A battle in the center of a blazing inferno...  
  
Picking up my axe, I run out of the sleeping quarters, only to be met face to face by a Tinto soldier. He slashes horizontally as I bend my back beyond his swing, flipping quickly in order to prevent him from making a second swing. My feet collide with his jaw, sending him stumbling several feet backwards. Before he could regain balance, I separated his shoulder blade from the rest of his body with a quick hack, and then I quickly twist the edge so that the blade is angled slightly downwards. I follow it up by separating his torso from his legs in one swift movement. He falls to the ground and lies there, not even breathing.  
  
And then a small, circular object falls from his tightly clenched hand.  
  
"Hey... What's this? A battle orb?" Yeah, I think it's a battle orb... Battle orbs are similar to runes but in actuality, are far more similar to Magic scrolls. They lack effectiveness and are usually limited in use but they require no meditation or spell memorization to be used in battle, which also makes them highly useful. They also release no form of energy whatsoever, which makes it even better to...  
  
...Use in stealth...  
  
DAMN! This guy must be the one who torched the village! Or could there be more of them?   
  
I pick up the battle orb and panic. If there are more with these weapons, then we don't stand a chance if they use them!  
  
Except for...  
  
* * *  
  
Noise...  
  
Lot's of noise...  
  
And now screams...  
  
Screams that could wake the dead...  
  
Or perhaps, wake a certain drunken thief from his booze induced slumber.  
  
He moved; his right hand still wrapped around the neck of the green wine bottle. His eyes opened up, vision blurry and head dizzy.  
  
"Sleep... Let me get to sleep, dammit..." Fumi moaned as he struggled to remove his plastered face from the oak table. The door violently swung open, revealing several armed men that weren't in typical bandit garb. They charged towards him, and the leader thrust his spear once towards Fumi...  
  
Only to feel it's blade embedded on the table which once was Fumi's pillow.  
  
"I may... be drunk..." Fumi rammed the table with his shoulder, toppling the leader as well as the two other soldiers behind him. They stumbled onto their backs, the leader pinned under several pounds of furniture. Fumi jumped on top of a soldier and smashed the wine bottle on his face, knocking loose some teeth in the process. Shards of glass then found new homes on the face he attacked as permanent bloody decorations.  
  
"...But I can... Still..." He spun around clockwise, his body limp due to his state of drunkenness (Authors note: Is there such a word?), the bottle shearing another face; blood flying towards the wall to his right. He then jumped on top of the table that pinned down the sergeant and promptly broke his bones under the weight of his repeated leaps.  
  
"Whip your ass...!" He slapped his left hand across his face and threw down the crimson-tainted bottle, shattering it into tiny, uncountable pieces.  
  
(Shit... Gotta get a hold of myself... I feel like throwing up.) He tried to fix his blurry vision, but his head throbbed with the most hellish pain he could ever have imagined.  
  
(How does Gijimu do it?) He then ran out of the bar and took hold of a wooden mop, the head broken probably by the kids that play with it on occasion, and ran towards his quarters to get his weapons and armor.  
  
* * *  
  
"Where in the hell is Fumi when you need him!?" Gijimu yelled out loud as he tried to fight off two different attackers all at once. Lo Wen intervened and struck down one of them with a neat blow to the back of the head with the iron ball. Two of them were pressing Gijimu down until he pulled out a small knife from his pocket, thrusting it into the chest of one of the attackers. The man slumped downwards but was flung back a good two meters as the stocky bandit pressed all his weight forward in one powerful lunge. The bear like man then dropped to his knees, breathing heavily as he looked back at his right arm. His arm that was bleeding from a blade wound...  
  
"Of all things, why'd it have to be my good arm?" He tried to take the pain but he felt like throwing down his axe in exchange for some kind of comfort, but he knew he had to fight.   
  
"Hey, tubby! Are you okay?" Lo Wen asked as she knelt beside him, looking at the horrible gash that hindered Gijimu's fighting skills.  
  
"Whaddya think, pumpkin? I can barely move it, much less fight with it... How are the others?" The two of them stood up as they noticed four more soldiers surrounding them, this time, they carried spears instead of short swords.  
  
"Koyu's doing fine but he's more intent on looking for Fumi. Fumi, I have no idea where he is right now but I don't think he's dead." Husband and wife were pressed back-to-back as they awaited any kind of attack from their opponents.  
  
"And the others?" Gijimu's arm was trembling feverishly as the nerves in his right arm twitched uncontrollably and this made him even more apprehensive of his encircling foes.  
  
"All the non-fighting survivors have been told to get as far away from the village as possible and have been told to rendezvous at Tigermouth village."  
  
(Ronday-what?) Gijimu thought but let it pass due to his preoccupation with battle.  
  
"The total count of our capable warriors have fallen nearly to a half of the previous numbers and more are reported wounded." Lo Wen slowly swung the Falling Star in a circle as to get some velocity before the attack, although she was more afraid for Gijimu's safety other than her own.  
  
"And what about the Tinto soldiers? Are they receiving more reinforcements from home base?"  
  
"... Unfortunately... yes." The four soldiers then charged simultaneously; three going for the axe wielder and one bent on distracting Lo Wen. Lo charged towards the advancing spearman, jumping up and beyond his thrust and wrapping the chain around his neck. She then proceeded to twist the metal chain until she heard a crack in the man's spinal column. She unwrapped the chain, declared him dead, and ran to the aid of her husband. Gijimu had already disposed of one but the two others were continuously battering Gijimu. Lo Wen swung the weight and smashed the head of one man's spear. Gijimu quickly followed up by an explosive and quite audible punch to his enemies face. Gijimu then grabbed the other man by his helmet, and collided his forehead with the soldiers nose, three times in a row. Gijimu's axe then fell from his fingers as soon as his enemy had made contact with the earth. From a burning building then emerged Lo Wen's brother, Koyu, who was carrying the crying body of a little girl, Yuki.  
  
"Sis, there's no one else in the village. I've already told the others to get out as soon as possible, for their own safety. We're also being surrounded by Tinto troops from nearly all sides. I... I don't think we can win." He got Yuki onto her feet, but the girl just kept on wailing and wailing. Koyu himself wanted to cry in desperation but he was thought more than that.  
  
He was a bandit.   
  
They all were bandits.   
  
And bandits never cry in battle.  
  
"There, there Yuki, don't worry. Just stay with us and we'll all get out of here safe." Yuki then ceased her bawling and held tightly to Koyu's left hand. Lo Wen turned to Gijimu, who was struggling to stand up and keep his axe on his hands.   
  
"We can't win, Gijimu. We've got to fall back."  
  
"I won't! For the name of the Lampdragon bandits and for my pride, I will never run away!" Lo then took a quick look at Koyu and then looked at Gijimu straight in the eye... In that cold, scary way of hers...  
  
"DUMBASS!" A swift kick to the balls was all that she needed to knock some sense into her erm... love.  
  
"Y..es... Dear..." She then lifted him up and dragged him as far as the pain stayed. Once subsided, all four of them were running out of the burning village...  
  
Only to be met by a wall of soldiers with bandits dead at their feet. Crossbows were then pointed at them and fired. The three fighters then ducked behind some concrete homes, Yuki being held by the hand by Koyu.  
  
"Brother Koyu..." She sniffed. "I'm scared!" She began to cry again as more arrows flew.  
  
"Don't worry... I won't ever let them hurt you. I promise... I promise that we'll get out of here alive." He searched his pockets and picked a small green battle orb, and held it tightly.  
  
(Here goes nothing...) Koyu then crushed it and his fist began to glow a slight neon-green; sparks of lightning flickering from his fingers. Swiftly spinning from behind the house, he then brandished his sparking, open palm.  
  
He yelled out the strongest battle cry that he could muster as he watched countless trails of lightning fly from his once normal hand. Each trail then struck down soldier after soldier, all the water being evaporated from the inside. The lightning disappeared and all that was left were charred corpses and burnt-black armor. Gijimu and Lo Wen came out from hiding, staring dumbly at what Koyu just executed.  
  
"What the hell... was that?"  
  
"No time to explain." Koyu took several glances around him and noticed that the village was practically empty except for the blazing houses. "Where's Fumi?" He asked, only to be interrupted by even more soldiers carrying even more crossbows coming from behind.  
  
"We've got no time to do a body search! Let's get out of here!" Lo Wen exclaimed as she picked up Yuki and carried her on her back.  
  
"But what abo..." Gijimu then delivered a sound punch to Koyu, and then lifted him up from the ground and proceeded to run alongside Lo Wen. His axe was nowhere to be seen.  
  
They kept on running... and running... and running...  
  
And finally, it was safe, and they stopped. Both of them heaved as they tried to catch their breath, putting both children down on the uncultivated land. There were only several trees that gave them a safe place to hide but it was as safe as anywhere was it this time. The two of them looked back..  
  
And witnessed the largest fire that they have ever seen.  
  
"So... this is the end of White Tiger Village, huh?" Gijimu thought out loud as he ripped off his right fur sleeve to make a temporary bandage.  
  
"Don't say things like that..." The woman then turned around and overlooked an unconscious Koyu and a sniffling Yuki. Although he was asleep for the entire scene that had just occurred, his axe was still in his hand... hardened blood coating it's deep gray blade. Now they have to leave a place that Koyu knew as home and now they had to leave everything behind...   
  
Where could they all go home to now?  
  
And other than that...  
  
What ever happened to Fumi?  
  
They never found out... And maybe, they never will. But who's to say? No one, other than time, destiny and fate.  
  
- End Chapter four - 


	6. Home

Chapter five: HOME  
Location: Tigermouth Village (Flashback)  
  
---  
  
I wake up to see a room that I don't know. A room which I have no idea as to who owns it.   
  
A room that isn't mine.  
  
I see shelves, filled with various things that I don't recognize and filled with belongings of someone else.   
  
I see the house. It isn't mine nor is it owned by anyone else I know. The kitchen, the dining table and everything else couldn't be ours...  
  
I walk outside and see a village that isn't White Tiger. I see kids I don't recognize playing in the fields underneath the afternoon sun. People are walking around, farming, raising animals; merchants conduct business candidly and women stand around gossiping.  
  
Bandits never do that.  
  
"I... remember." White Tiger's gone now, huh? I remember all the fire, all the blood-spattered walls of buildings I have memories of... I remember the people who died and all the people I killed...  
  
And now, where am I? Is this Tigermouth? Is this where all the bandits have run off to?  
  
And where are the bandits? There's no one here, at least, no one I recognize. Faces that I don't know casually walk around, not minding a small stranger boy in their village. I walk around, trying to find someone I know...  
  
Walking inside the Inn, I'm greeted by the female innkeeper who smiles widely at me. I approach her, only to be called by a voice to my right.  
  
"Koyu! You're awake already! Come 'ere, kiddo!" It's Brother Gijimu and sister Lo Wen. At least they're here; at least I can talk to somebody without any sense of apprehension.  
  
"Brother Gijimu... Where are the others?" I ask as Gijimu downs a mug of beer in one gulp, soundly slapping it back onto the table.  
  
"Well, Koyu... Y'see... Aww, dammit! Lo, dearie, explain it to the kid, won't ya?" Gijimu said as he slammed his head onto the table in a drunken stupor.  
  
"Koyu... There are no others."  
  
What the hell? How can that be? After all that fighting and all that running, how can there be no survivors!?  
  
"Whaddya mean, no others?" I look at her deeply and my hands tighten as my blood boils in pure spite for the Tinto troops.  
  
"Exactly what you think it means. Look Koyu, A lot of the bandits died last night and the others who were able to escape have decided to move farther away and rebuild their lives. One day, maybe they'll come back, but not now. Gustav wants us dead and us means all of the Lampdragon bandits."  
  
"So you're saying that they're still safe, right?"  
  
In the least, that was some sort of consolation, knowing that they're still alive and well.  
  
"Yes, the ones that escaped are alive. They've all moved on towards various different cities and locations, prob'ly to make a living." Lo Wen glanced over at a snoring Gijimu who was drooling liberally on the wood table. "An HONEST living, anyway." Her attention was brought back to her brother, who seemed to be the one who was the most devastated by the news.  
  
"Koyu, listen..." Her right hand, rough with memories of battle, found its place on Koyu's shoulder. "There are a lot of places other than Mount Lampdragon and Tinto, I think you know that. It's about time you got to see more of the world and got to find a different way of living other than fighting. Sure, fighting's good and all but not now. Not until we can go back to the village."   
  
"Why don't you go out and play with Yuki for a while? She's real lonely right now and there are no kids that want to play with her." She pats me on the shoulder several times and then spanks my butt as she smiles. Sis rarely smiles... She's usually more busy trying to beat whatever she can out of Gijimu or any customer that gets in the way of her bar.  
  
But I know that that wasn't a real smile. She's just trying to make me feel better... But I know that we may never go back to where we were.  
  
* * *  
  
A little girl sat down on the sandy soil while drawing lines with her forefinger. She was silent, her eyes practically empty of life and joy. The joy that every little girl was supposed to have and to have experienced.  
  
But that joy was gone, replaced only by the fire of hatred for the people that threw her out from her own home.  
  
The little boys and girls ran around the village, the sand flying behind them as they laughed everywhere they went.   
  
And the girl just sat there, staring at the lines that were there only moments ago, replaced now by dozens of tiny footprints.  
  
* * *  
  
A boy, a young boy, probably one that hadn't even hit puberty yet, walked through this village, his eyes wandering off to take in all of his surroundings. It was a typical, countryside village but it filled him with a kind of awe. Not the kind of awe that you feel when surrounded by royalty, it was more of a simple kind of inspiration that came with the appreciation of another locales terrain. It was simple, but the people that lived here probably like it that way.  
  
His attire was obviously not that of a resident of this village, nor was it the attire of someone who came from a high-class family. He was clothed in a simple rust-red cloth-tunic that reached just several inches above his knees, with a plain brown leather belt at his waist. His feet were bare and cloth wraps covered his shins. He wore nothing else and his hair was even more messy than usual.  
  
He kept on walking, his mind devoid of thought. All he could feel was a strange numbness, probably the result of all his thinking and regretting and thoughts of what if.  
  
All his walking and wandering led him to the wooden fence that surrounded the perimeter of this village... and the exit to this village.  
  
Without thinking, he walked faster and faster, wanting to leave this village behind. He didn't know why he wanted to leave it so bad, he just did and seeing that there was no one around to even try to stop him from doing what he felt like doing... no matter how pointless and irrational it may be.  
  
Within minutes, he was out of this village. A village that he had no idea where was. After a while, he couldn't even see the village.  
  
* * *  
  
The little girl still sat there, her back to one of the small houses in this village, still drawing some figures in the sand with the same finger she was using for nearly an hour. Her eyes were completely focused on the floor as the figures slowly made sense...   
  
The girl was writing. All this time, she's been writing. And writing... And writing.  
  
Each letter was written as clear as a seven-year old could write them, but they were clear enough for you to understand what they meant.  
  
She's been writing "Lampdragon" all this time.  
  
There, in the sand, she wrote the word Lampdragon over and over again; erasing it with her hand as soon as it was finished.   
  
Her face did not as much as twitch. Her eyes nearly remained motionless, never blinking and she seemed to be perpetually holding her breath. In a way, it was scary, seeing such an innocent girl turn so melancholic.  
  
She wrote again, a shadow hovering above her writings.  
  
She looked up; a young boy held out his hand for hers.  
  
"What are you doing there?" She looked up and saw a small boy looking at her, his face ha one of the most beautiful smiles that she has ever seen grace anyone's face.  
  
And he was smiling at her.  
  
"I... I... No one wants to play with me. That's why..." She turned her eyes away from his, unconsciously afraid that he might reject her as well.  
  
"I'll play with you." She spun around quickly, her eyes meeting his in a strange way. It didn't feel like love, she didn't even know what that felt like. And it sure didn't feel like it did before when all the soldiers attacked.  
  
It felt like a sort of friendship... A friendship that was almost meant to be... Even before they ever met.  
  
"Th, Thank you." She said as both their hands touched. He pulled her up to her feet, and slowly, they joined the other children.  
  
* * *  
  
There were trees surrounding him in almost every direction. The trees were also immense, nearly covering the afternoon sun. He just kept walking... And walking...  
  
After sometime, he came upon a small river. The water shimmered and gurgled as it went flowing and flowing, not minding the boys presence. Koyu ran his hand through his hair and felt the sticky fibers hard to comb through.  
  
"It has been a while since I took a bath..." He slowly moved over to the side of the river, his toes testing the temperature. Although the rest of the world seemed to feel the heat of summer, this river seemed to have other plans. The water wasn't freezing yet it wasn't warm. It was refreshingly cool, clear and totally free of any residue.  
  
He undid his belt and threw it aside. He bent over and cupped the water in his hands and proceeded to wash his face.  
  
(Fumi... Where are you...?) He thought to himself as water trickled down his chin.   
  
(Fumi...) The boy wouldn't leave his mind. Fumi was so different from everyone else in a way that he could never, ever explain. He was more than a brother, more than a comrade and more than a friend. The way he felt about him was, love? Yes, maybe it was love. He couldn't define this sensation in his gut. The way his heart leapt every time he could see the smile on Fumi's face. When laughter echoed from both of their lips, he felt as if the two of them had achieved the last stage of bliss that any human being could possibly ever attain. He loved how they would wrestle with one another and collapse as a hot and sweaty couple on the blades of grass, the sky and clouds watching high above them. He missed the way Fumi's sweet lips tasted when they kissed one another...  
  
Yes, he was in love, but with another boy? It didn't really matter, did it? Didn't love remain as love no matter what the two people had in aspects of difference? If a man can love a woman, then why can't a man love a man? Was there some sort of cosmic rule that the gods have created that prevented someone from truly expressing his feelings for someone he truly loved? His arms slipped into the sleeves of his tunic and they fell to the floor, his body bare as the day he was born. Ever so slowly, he dipped his legs into the water, savoring the calm, cool sensation as it ran across his skin. His body then soon followed and before long, he was submerged until his neck.  
  
He sat there, silent; His mind thinking yet again about all the events that had just transpired.  
  
(White Tiger's gone now and the bandit's have gone their separate ways. I'm probably never going to go back home and I'm probably going to die being hunted by Mayor Gustav. But I don't care...) His eyes blurred and gently, his tears began to cause ripples on the water.  
  
(I don't care...) Did he really? Did he really forget all the misery that he's seen?   
  
Humans oftentimes put on a mask of courage to hide the fact that they're human. They want to be viewed as something extraordinary, as someone that can exceed problems that weaken others around them. They all strive to be special and because of this, they try to act strong, not for the sake of others, but for their own benefit.  
  
Indeed, humans are such trivial creatures. But, if they can find comfort in such insignificant matters, then why stop them? Emotions bear you down and emotions are the things that truly hurt you. Not the wounds of battle that you suffered or the scars of war that you carry...  
  
It's the knowledge that someone else around you is hurt. Someone that you feel is important.  
  
But this boy had to deal with a problem beyond all these. Now he had to deal with the knowledge that someone important to him is somewhere where he cannot reach.   
  
And now, he has to live with the fear that this person may just be gone... forever.  
  
(Why'd you have to disappear? When will I see you again? Dammit Fumi, when will you come back?) He cried silently. All his anguish welled up within him and with this came the disgusting feeling of self-loathing.  
  
He couldn't find him. He could have tried to find him. He could have convinced Gijimu and Lo Wen to help him find Fumi...  
  
But now, he has no chance of doing that.   
  
Fumi may be dead, dead underneath the earth as a rotting corpse. Killed by one of those damn Tinto soldiers.  
  
Fumi might not ever come back.  
  
Should he go and look for him? Or should he wait in constant anticipation of Fumi's arrival?  
  
The minutes went by, and Koyu continued his bathing, trying so hard not to think about the one he was madly in love with. It was insane the way he loved Fumi, but no matter... He was probably gone already... And he had no chance of following.  
  
* * *  
  
The sun had nearly disappeared over the horizon, and the two of them were already worrying about Koyu. He's already been gone for nearly four hours and still he hasn't returned. They've already asked everyone in the village if they saw a boy matching his description, but they say they haven't. After all, how hard can it be to find someone with hair as unique as Koyu's?  
  
They asked Yuki, who they found playing with several other kids in the village if Koyu ever passed her by. She says he hasn't.  
  
"Where could that idiot be? I told him to keep Yuki company and now he goes AWOL on me!" She wasn't really panicking because Koyu always did this. But the situation is different now, they're not in Lampdragon anymore... They're somewhere that isn't their home and then her brother just picks up and leaves?  
  
"How can that stupid brat be so... Stupid!" Lo Wen had gone ballistic as she began turning Gijimu into a perfect outlet for all her stress. Her hands were wound tightly around his collar and she repeatedly slammed Gijimu onto the ground. Gijimu tried to protest but found that it wouldn't do squat for him. He just let her do what he was used to experiencing.  
  
* * *  
  
The boy woke up from his fearful sleep, his body still resting in the shallow portion of the river. He looked around, and noticed that everything was still the same way as he had left it. His clothes were there, still on the grass, the same way he had dropped it. All that was different was the sunlight, which was slowly disappearing from the sky, the clouds turning into a dark orange.  
  
"Better get back home..." Home? No, there was no more "Home". There never will be a "Home". He dressed up, and made his way out of the woods using the same way he had come in.  
  
The world seemed so different at night. Back at White Tiger, Lo Wen would yell at him for staying out too late and he always wound up with a lump on his once he was allowed back into the house. Now, that he wasn't in White Tiger, he noticed the beauty of the world cloaked in shadow... Yes, he had noticed and had appreciated the eerie, slightly evil beauty of the night.   
  
The woods were silent, not a single breeze blew by to rustle the leaves on the trees. The only sound that emanated from this collection of trees was from the twigs his bare feet crunched underneath. Soon enough, the sun had finally disappeared from the horizon and Koyu was thoroughly bathed in the darkness of a cloudy evening.  
  
"Damn, it's dark... Better get back to Tigermouth as soon as possible." He then began to run. Running as fast as his bare feet would take him...  
  
After several minutes, he found himself outside of Tigermouth.  
  
* * *  
  
"Koyu! Get yer skinny ass over here!" The woman yelled out loud as her eyes caught sight of a prepubescent boy in rust-red cloth. She quickly stopped the repeated brain bashing of her husband and stood up, her face obviously irritated at the young male's appearance. Her foot tapped the ground in annoyance and her face had wrinkled to form a disapproving frown.  
  
"You'd better have a real damn good excuse for doing what you just did! You had me and my obese, good-fer-nothin' husband here worried sick!" She picked up Koyu by his collar and prepared to slap his face... Which, for some reason, had a smug grin on it. Koyu giggled and Lo Wen's hand froze in mid-air.  
  
"What's so funny?!" She demanded, even more annoyed than ever.  
  
"Y'know what, Lo? Even though you've got no kid of your own, and you probably never will, you act just like a regular mother." Her hands weakened and Koyu's feet then felt the earth below him as Lo Wen steadily lowered him.  
  
"W, what are you saying? Me? A mom?" Lo Wen asked as hundreds of visions of her taking care of a baby of her own filled every single cell of her brain.  
  
(Me? Have a baby? Nah, I could never take care of one of those brats... But it would be nice...) Lo Wen's attention was diverted far away from Koyu as she walked away from the scene, her thoughts swimming in hundreds of different baby names.  
  
"It's so easy to get her distracted when it doesn't concern money..." He felt odd. Odd in a way that actually felt good. Like some feeling of being warm and secure for no reason at all...  
  
Maybe it was because of Lo Wen, Gijimu and Yuki.  
  
Yeah, it was because of them...  
  
Even though you may not have a home, you will always have family.  
  
- End Chapter Five - 


	7. Fate, Fortune and Farming

Chapter six: Fate, fortune and farming  
Location: Tigermouth  
---  
  
It was strange, the way things had turned. A few days ago, he was a warrior, a warrior whose sole purpose was to swing his axe and land it in flesh. Now, where was he? He wasn't holding an axe anymore, instead he held a hoe. He didn't stand on dead bodies anymore, instead he stood on freshly-tilled soil. Soil that he himself had tilled.  
  
He had never held a hoe, or any other farming tool in his hands before and now he did. It was strange, how things had turned... How strange indeed.  
  
Yet, in some way, the twist was a welcome one. He had no need to fear dying in the middle of a blood-soaked field. All he had to fear now was the crops... Yes, it was welcome, this change in routine and lifestyle.  
  
He would have thought that this was not his way of living, but the more he looked at it, the more he realized that he was so wrong. He could just be doing this, helping out the bandits or other people in a very simple way, without all the battles... Without the constant conflict between two weapons. He wiped his brown once, lifted the gardening tool above his head, and brought it down soundly and swiftly.  
  
Yes, it was welcome... And for once, in so many days, he was content.  
  
---  
  
It was strange, the way things had turned. She no longer had her fingers dirtied with blood from wounds. Instead, they were dirty from mud and what else that she had been in while she played with her new playmates. Actually, they weren't her new playmates... They were her FIRST playmates. She had never played like this with anyone ever before. Back in the bandit village, everyone was so caught up with training or stealing that most of the kids were often left alone and unattended. She didn't have time to play either. She was a doctor, and she had a job to do...  
  
They came home all the time, bloody and bruised, and she helped in fixing them up. She had that sense of satisfaction that came with helping her mom and other people...  
  
Yet, it was a different kind of satisfaction than the one she got here while playing wholeheartedly with other kids her age. Yes, it was a welcome change in routine and lifestyle.  
  
She would never have dreamt of living like this, not until now anyway. Now all she could envision was the smiles, laughs and antics of her fellow children...  
  
Yes, it was welcome... And for once, in so many days, she was content.  
  
---  
  
It was strange, the way things had turned. Here he was, standing with another axe in his grip. But it was an axe that wasn't his... Instead, it was an axe of a woodsman, an axe of someone who would chop trees to obtain lumber for building homes, for profit, for warming up his family on cold, windy nights...   
  
Family...  
  
Yes, he was a family man, although you would never have guessed it once you saw his scruffy face. He constantly reeked of alcohol, cheap tavern ale more specifically, every night and his voice sounded like a dying elephant once he got drunk. Now, it was so very different. He didn't have the same smell, now it was the smell of sweat. Sweat not coming from killing, but coming from working hard, all-day long. Yes, it was a welcome change in routine and lifestyle.  
  
The axe was swung several times, each time knocking splinters out from the tree that he had begun to chop. Each blow resounded throughout the entire empty forest and he felt that it was great.  
  
Yes, it was welcome... And for once, in so many days, he was content.  
  
---  
  
It was strange, the way things had turned out. She wasn't anymore in her small bar serving beer to a bunch of smelly bandits. Instead she was in an inn, working up some drinks for all the travelers that decide to stop by this small village. She would aid the innkeeper in anyway she could...  
  
Nevertheless, it seemed so natural for her. Not to harass customers that didn't pay but instead politely ask them to pay their dues. It worked well, and she was surprised how different people were from her village. Maybe she had found her true calling... Not as a bar owner, but as an innkeeper. Maybe she would become like this in the future instead of what she had previously fancied.  
  
But she was also a warrior, and her warrior's blood craved for the heat of an argument.... Yet, that urge died out as well. Now she was an innkeeper's assistant... Yes, it was a welcome change in routine and lifestyle.  
  
A man came up to her and paid the fee that he was supposed to pay. 400 Potch for 5 days stay... She thanked him fondly and went over to fix up the room that he had just used.  
  
Yes, it was welcome... And for once, in so many days, she was content.  
  
---  
  
The sun was blisteringly hot as it loomed directly overhead, clearly stating that it was already noontime. The boy looked up, his eyes blinded by the magnificent ball of flame that was so high in the clear blue sky.  
  
"Koyu! C'mon, it's time for a break!" Koyu looked over his shoulder and there were several other workers there who signaled to him. They waved their hands, calling him out of the blistering field. Koyu waved back at them, and shouldered the tool as he left for them.  
  
"You're a good kid, Koyu. I've never seen someone at your age work so hard! If you keep working, I'm sure the crops'll be a big success!" One of the older worked commented. The man was considerably old, his white beard and slightly bald head proof of his age and experience.  
  
"Koyu's prob'lly the best worker we ever got!" Another one bellowed through a mouth stuffed with bread. He washed his parched throat down with a water canteen which he offered generously to Koyu. Koyu took it, smiled and gulped down a large dose of water.  
  
"Hey, Koyu, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Koyu swallowed once more and wiped his lips, looking at another one of the workers. He nodded, and the worker moved to get closer to him.  
  
"I heard that you were once a Lampdragon bandit. Why'd you come all over here when you guys could've stayed back at White Tiger?"  
  
How was he supposed to tell them without breaking into tears? He couldn't even think of the last scene he saw when he was back there, and now someone wants his life story? A story that he himself could not understand?  
  
How many weeks have passed since then? To his memory, he remembered that it was about two to three weeks... But yet, he knew that it would take many years for him to truly move on. The work got his mind off the problem, but destiny would not let him forget.  
  
He hated the Tinto troops even more now. He felt that they should be exterminated as soon as he can get back to fight them. He felt that the only person worthy of beheading Gustav would be him...  
  
Or perhaps, Fumi.  
  
Now he thinks of him. That same boy that he loved so many days back. He still loved him until now, maybe even more so than when the two were together, wrapped in one another's arms, cradled in their passion for one another. Now he was nowhere to be seen, but he knew that he must be alive. Alive and ready to greet him when they meet again...  
  
But at the same time, he also knew that this was probably just wishful thinking. There was an even higher possibility for Fumi to be dead than missing. He could've been killed back there in White Tiger and he wouldn't have known about it. Or Fumi could have run away and never would he see him again. But in any case, he knew that he should at least live life for the future... Not only for the memory of Fumi but for himself as well.  
  
"Yes, I was a Lampdragon bandit... And to make a long story short, White Tiger isn't on the map anymore." Koyu said as bluntly as he could, his eyes focused on the freshly tilled soil underneath his feet. He just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible... And thank the gods that no one else spoke of it.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that... Everyone, that's all in the past already. Why don't we just let sleeping dogs lie and celebrate for the great new friends that we have now!" The eldest man said as he lifted his water canteen up high into the air, a joyous smile on his face.  
  
"For Koyu!" The rest of them followed, their canteens brought together by new found camaraderie.  
  
"For Koyu!" They all stated simultaneously, laughter and merriment filling the air. Koyu smiled and then soon joined in the revelry.  
  
* * *  
  
Hours passed and the sun had set. The fields were deserted and all that anyone could see would be earth ready for planting. Koyu had removed his shirt for the name of comfort, his stride was fatigued yet emanated a strange aura of confidence. He was young yet he was powerful. He was young, but he was experienced...  
  
He was young... Yes, he was just that...  
  
Something about him was so different from other kids. From the time he could walk, he was taught how to carry an axe, how to fight without thinking of his opponent... How to kill. Maybe this was what he was destined to be.  
  
Deep down, he knew he was nothing more than murderer. And the very thought of it made him wince.  
  
What was he made to be? His thoughts were about turning over a new leaf as a normal person, not a bandit, not a thief and definitely not a murderer... But the only thing that filled his mind was the idea of killing Gustav... Killing the same person that made him suffer so much.  
  
Killing the person that separated him from Fumi.  
  
No, he had tried to put those days behind him already! There was no reason for them to return! He was simply known now as Koyu... Not the bandit Koyu, simply just Koyu.  
  
And he would like it to stay that way.  
  
The inn came into view after a few moments. Lucky for them that the innkeeper had decided to take them in as helpers despite their less-than-friendly record. The old wooden door creaked open, him being greeted by two of his fellow bandits enjoying a small drink, paid in full and with honest money, of course.  
  
"Y'been working hard? I heard that you were great today!" Gijimu bellowed between hiccups and the occasional belch.  
  
"It wasn't anything, really. I just did what I was told to."   
  
"Oh just shut up, Koyu! You sure worked your butt off today and you deserve a drink. Several of the other workers actually came over and told us that you were the best worker they've had in about several years! Quit the false modesty and grab a glass!"  
  
Somehow, Koyu forced to stifle a laugh as he looked at Lo Wen's completely red face.   
  
(Sis' got herself drunk again... I can't remember a time when she actually drank that much. Usually, she's on the end of belting out some angry comment about Gijimu being a slob...)  
  
We're all different now in so many ways that I can't even seem to count them all. So different after that day…  
  
Sometimes, I miss the old us. But for some reason, I like it the way it is... We weren't bandits anymore, we were just normal, everyday people trying to make a living as honestly as possible... And I think I like that even more.  
  
"Thanks sis." Koyu handed his glass to his sister, who filled it up so much that it overflowed all over Koyu's hand.  
  
"Sorry if the wine tastes kinda funny. Got no money for the more expensive ones, y'know..." He sipped it and yes, it was kinda funny tasting. It wasn't all that sweet, more sour actually, but he didn't care.  
  
At least he was drinking alongside them.  
  
"Is it okay if I hit the sheets? I'm kinda tired after several hours of working, y'know." He asked as he placed his cup down on the table.  
  
"Yeah, we don't mind... Get a good nights rest, y'hear? And be careful not to wake Yuki up! She's been sleepin' like a baby ever since she got her first friends." Koyu smiled back at Gijimu and waved his hand before leaving for their shared room on the first floor of the inn. He closed the door, and carefully collapsed on the lumpy bed, taking care not to wake up his 'younger sister'.  
  
(I'm pretty banged up, but I like it... I guess it's cause of that self-satisfaction thingy that gets me going...) Koyu thought before turning his eyes towards Yuki's sleeping face.  
  
(She looks so sweet when she's asleep... I wonder how I look when I'm asleep?) He chuckled to himself (Probably not good. I think I drool or at least snore when I sleep...)  
  
We see so many different faces and masks put up by humanity, most of them completely superficial in the hopes of showing everyone that they are strong or they are special... But all the masks come off when one person is asleep. Sleep must be the last sanctuary of every human being. There are so many times when no matter how good our mask is, it usually isn't enough for other people, so we resort to trying to find help in things other than the living. Meditation is one, it's a stupid thing that people do to find inner peace without the aid of their masks. But in reality, the only place where we can find peace is in sleep; the last place that we run to...   
  
But sleep can also hold the most disturbing images that any human will ever be forced to see...  
  
Koyu smiled, closed his heavy eyes and then fell asleep.  
  
* * *  
  
The two stared at each other, the wine bottle now empty to the last drop. They tried as much as possible never to drink with one another, since it always ended up in very unpleasant ways. Always in the negative fortune of the male partner.  
  
"Was that Koyu we just saw?" The male asked the female.  
  
"It was Koyu, but he was so different... But, I like him this way. I like Koyu in any way..." Silence cut in before any of them spoke.  
  
"D'you think we'll ever get back to being Lampdragon bandits?" The long-haired girl said, taking the bottle and the glasses outside to be washed but stopped to put them on top of the counter.  
  
"I'm sure we can... Yes, I've got to say that we're living a pretty nice life but I know that you and I understand that we just weren't cut out for this." He stood up, making almost no sound as his seat was pushed backwards. "You and I aren't village folk."  
  
"Yeah... I know that. But we can't just leave Koyu and Yuki here, right? They'll be in danger if Gustav decides to come looking for them..."   
  
"Whoever said we'll be leaving them? What were you thinking, Lo? I'm never leaving them behind!"  
  
"They shouldn't be out there, risking their lives for a reason that they don't even know of! Gijimu..." The woman broke into tears, falling down to her knees as she broke the bottle, hundreds of tiny shards flying everywhere. The man approached her cautiously, not because he was afraid of the broken glass... He was never able to talk to her when she became emotional...  
  
"Gijimu... They're only kids... If they were my kids, I would never dream of letting them get so involved in things that could have them killed... We can just leave them here, right? They'll be in the protection of the central city-state! Gustav won't just march in here..."  
  
"But he can and he will Lo Wen... You know that more than I do. He hates every bandit that ever lived and died. He wouldn't care if the last two bandits were just preteens..." He held her in his arms, her face pressed to his shoulder, her tears bathing his clothing.  
  
Silence... Broken only by her sobbing...  
  
"It's okay Lo Wen... We'll get out of here one day and we'll start off clean... Somewhere far away, someplace where Gustav can't hunt the kids down..." He didn't know if that was the right thing to say to her... He just knew that he had to say something...  
  
Humans in general, crave for sympathy and have an inborn desire to be loved. To be abhorred or in the least, unloved, meant to be treated as something out of society. It was something that was far worse than death...  
  
Sometimes, all it would take is a couple of words and everything's better already... Even if you don't mean these words, all they want to hear is that it's okay... Someone cares about you... That you matter to others...  
  
"Is it really going to be okay? You think that we'll be able to get out of here and live in peace?"  
  
No... he didn't know if it was going to be okay... He didn't know if they were actually going to get out of here alive...  
  
But all he could say was yes.  
  
"Yes... It's going to be okay..." He held the crying Lo Wen in his arms, cradling her distraught body and mind in a way that he's never done before...  
  
For once, they were husband and wife...  
  
No longer Lo Wen and Gijimu... They were a couple...  
  
Yes, it was welcome... And for once, in so many years, they were content.  
  
- End Chapter Six - 


	8. Faces

Koyu, Chapter seven: Faces  
Location: Tigermouth Village | Two River City -- Flashback  
  
This chapter is going to be a 'split' story since I will be elaborating more on the condition of Koyu's closest friend, Fumi. You thought he was dead? Why would I kill him off? It's so fun to mess around with a boy's head! And yes, I might be using some characters here so if you don't like the way I did it, please tell me so and I'll revise it.  
---  
  
Sleep came easily and there was no reason for him to try and stay awake.  
  
Sleep was always the last resort for him when it came to trying to forget memories. You can't remember if you aren't in a state of consciousness. Nevertheless, sleeping had become more of a therapeutical thing for him than something that was naturally one by living beings.  
  
Where could Fumi be sleeping right now?  
  
Was he even sleeping? Was he even alive enough to attempt to sleep?  
  
He didn't have enough time to think about this. He just... Slept.  
  
* * *  
  
It was quite strange for him to be this far off from where he was before, but.... It was probably the safest place to be right now. He didn't dislike the place, nor did he hold contempt for it's people and maybe it was this atmosphere that provided him with a sense of security, albeit a very senseless sense of security.  
  
"So, are you leaving tonight?" It was an old man who sat behind a wooden counter. He was way beyond seventy and he had the trademark wrinkled face, long unkempt beard and the oftentimes reminiscing personality.  
  
"Yeah, guess so. I can't earn money here since Bounty hunters aren't really popular as of now. I'd better be heading off to Muse, I've probably got better chances over there than anywhere else." It was a boy who sat on a wooden chair, cushioned slightly by the hide of a giant squirrel. He was probably only weeks after his seventeenth birthday and he had the trademark angsty look and sometimes hyper kinetic personality that plagued most teenagers.  
  
Yes, they were so different and nearly worlds apart but they still managed to talk to one another.  
  
Yes, he may be a world apart from Koyu but he still manages to think about him.  
  
"Good luck on your journey, young man. It's been ages since someone's found the time to chat with an old weapons vender here in Two River."  
  
"Thank you." The response was simple but it was all that he really needed.  
  
"You aren't like other people, you know that? I've never met a person that never held a shred of being indifferent. Most people dislike the wingers and prefer to talk with other humans but you seem to enjoy talking to everyone that finds the time." The boy smiled back sincerely and arranged his clothing. It's already been a week since he bought these supposedly soft leather boots. Until now, they still irritate the hell out of him since he wasn't used to wearing footwear. All he really wore on his feet before were bandages...  
  
"If only there were more people like you nowadays, then there probably wouldn't be any kind of war. Anyways, you'd best be getting on your way. Muse is just a boat trip away from Lakewest village and you would probably reach it in less than three days if you leave early. Go on now, the boat's leaving soon." The boy smiled again at the old man and brought his right hand up to wave slightly. In less than ten seconds, the weapons store was left alone with the old man that had been watching this place for how many years.  
  
"He's one heck of a boy... But why would someone that loved people so much turn to bounty hunting?" It wasn't his place to question someone's decisions. The only person who has the right to question their decisions is the same person when they realize that it was a mistake. Yes, there were so many people who made so many mistakes that it would be impossible to count. The errors of living beings outnumber the stars in the sky, the sands on the shore, the tears that these same people have shed after their realizations.  
  
Yes, people made mistakes all the time. Maybe the boy that walked out of his shop was making one right now. But, of course, he could never tell.  
  
He was just a silly old man that owned a small weapons shop, after all.  
  
---  
  
(Muse... I've always wanted to visit that place...) There were so many stories that were told about it. It was said to be a city of utter grandeur, something that no other city could ever compare to! It was said to be a city worthy for any king and for any ruler! Muse was the place for everyone that was rich, for everyone that had power, for everyone that was important.  
  
But it wasn't a place for him.  
  
"Cancel that trip." He thought out loud, slowly turning around and going completely in the opposite direction. If he went west, then he would soon arrive at Greenhill and the world renowned Academy... A place where everything was taught to those who were willing enough to study long and hard... everything was taught... Including Runes...  
  
It was something that he was obsessed with, those magical stones that everyone used to create unexplained phenomenon. Magic was everywhere and people used and abused it to any extent yet no one, no philosopher, no genius and no Runemaster has been able to uncover the true power behind each rune. The true essence of being able to control things the same way God controls what he has created. No one truly understood how runes worked... All they knew was that it just did and it always has from the very first moment that anyone had ever come across it. He himself wanted to understand it from the beginning and now he had the perfect opportunity to learn... Looking down at his hands, he felt that familiar pulsating warmth that was there with those two stones. he warmth that came with the power they held inside their symbolic casings. They have always forced him to think about their true potential... How far can one rune go and how far can one human go for a rune?  
  
His place was Greenhill... But Lampdragon would always come first.  
  
* * *  
  
(What's a human doing out here so late at night?) The boy asked himself as he carefully studied this human from behind the corners of Two River's human district. He wasn't one to boast, but he knew that he was far superior than his human neighbors, although the humans also thought the same way of him an his kind. They weren't really well liked throughout the city, maybe until the expansion of the entire world. But his current social standing was of no importance. What was of importance was the human walking around in the dead of night without anyone else with him.   
  
(Maybe he's got some cash with him, he looks like some kind of traveler anyway.) He whispered to himself, trying his best to keep his tone of voice so low that even he had a hard time hearing himself. Quickly mentally slapping himself for thinking twice, he got ready to 'pounce' on his catch of the night.  
  
(His clothes are a little ragged but what the heck. Any money is still better than no money...) Without warning, he dashed from a dark alleyway and reached out for the man's wallet...  
  
If only he had one, maybe the boy would have gotten off with something. He never had money with him, he made sure he had just enough for anything and not a single potch extra. If only he had a wallet, maybe the winged boy would be able to get away with his plan, but since he didn't... He could always use plan B.  
  
If there was a plan B.  
  
"Whoa!" The man, or rather, boy exclaimed as he felt those quick hands search his clothing as the two of them collided. Other people would not have felt the subtlety behind those movements but he did, and it didn't come as a surprise to him. He was a thief as well, after all.  
  
"Put me down!" The shorter boy yelled as he felt his supposed to be victim lift him off his feet by the collar of his white shirt, his free arms trying vainly to hit the boy back, however he was easily suppressed and then squashed against the wall.  
  
"What's a nice kid like you doing stealing from a poor fella like me?" He mockingly asked the thief but was cut short as he felt clawed feet pierce through his leather shoes. The boy wriggled free and ran, leaving the supposed-to-be robbed behind.  
  
"Come back here!" Fumi yelled as he gave chase to the boy. The winged kid was faster than he thought as he scurried through the alleys that he was so unfamiliar with. Jumping over several boxes and then on to the rooftops of the wooden houses, Fumi realize that there was probably no chance of him ever catching up with this boy.  
  
Unless he used what he wanted to study. A flash of light gleamed from his forehead and his body felt lighter than any kind of air there ever was. Soon enough, he caught up with the boy and the boy wasn't all too pleased when he felt Fumi jump on top of him and force the two of them to audibly crash into a collection of trees.  
  
"Tweh!" Fumi spat out several bitter leaves that had found temporary residence inside his mouth. Taking immediate action, he grabbed the boys arms and pinned him face down on the earth.  
  
"Now now, that wasn't a very nice thing to do, Mister Thief. You've ruined a perfectly good shoe and I expect that you pay for it." It was pretty easy to subdue the winger boy since his body was built for speed instead of power but he found those black bat wings that were on his back mighty cumbersome to hold.  
  
"I'm not paying you back, you stupid bum!" The winger yelled back, only forcing Fumi to drive his face deeper into the soggy soil. Too bad for the kid that it rained horribly this afternoon...  
  
"You've got quite a tongue for someone that was just pinned to the ground by someone considerably bigger than you. Now, am I going to have to force you to pay me back by making you eat more than just dirt, like maybe your own clothes?" He threatened.  
  
However, his conscience kept nagging at him. This kid didn't do anything bad, really. He was just some poverty-stricken kid who just needed some money... It wasn't his fault that he was placed in this kind of situation.   
  
In many ways, it reminded him of a person he knew very well. A certain person who was pinning down a certain young boy who just attempted to rob him. And besides, the sound coming from the stomach of the boy was enough to make him think twice about his own situation.  
  
"Aww, never mind... Get up." He stood up and the boy answered back defiantly. "What's up now? You're going soft on me, mister too-cool-to-get-his-shirt-dirty?" He knew he was supposed to receive some sort of offense at that comment but instead he smiled back and removed his shoe. He inserted one hand in it, to the surprise of the young boy. He pulled out a coin purse and just threw it in the direction where the boy stood.  
  
"There, make good use of it. I don't have anything else so you might as well just go and buy yourself something to eat."   
  
The boy picked the bag up but did not go away. Instead he simply stared back at him, unknowing of what to do in response.  
  
"What are you doing just giving away all your money to someone who just tried to steal it from you? Are you some kind of a nut?" Fumi laughed, also unknowing of what to do. "Maybe I am, maybe I am actually. But never mind that, it looks like you need the money more than I do anyway."  
  
"I'm going!" He yelled at Fumi, however, Fumi did not even twitch. "Really, I swear, I'm going to go now!" Fumi just turned his back to the boy and began to leave as well. "Then leave. Good-bye, kid."  
  
"You're a strange guy, but I guess you're not too bad for a human." How was he supposed to answer that? Say 'Yeah, I'm a really awesome guy!'! He'd look like some kind of self-absorbed jerk in front of this kid, which of course, wasn't what he wanted to look like, really.  
  
"Thanks, I guess. You're not all that bad for a, uhh...."  
  
"The term is [ Winger ]. Anyway, that's what you humans like to call us. The name's Chako and thanks for the cash." He smiled wholeheartedly and now, couldn't force himself to leave this boy, this winger he just met. It's strange but for some reason, the two seems to call out for one another as friends.  
  
And Fumi needed that more than anything else.  
  
"My name's Fumi of Lampdragon." The two didn't leave the area but simply stood there within eyesight of one another, neither one showing any signs of wanting to leave the spot.   
  
* * *  
  
He woke up, it was probably two o'clock in the morning by now. He was restless tonight, and why? He didn't quite know why. All he knew was that he couldn't get to sleep completely and that there was this sense of weirdness that was cramping his chest. Maybe he was being a little too paranoid or something. Whatever the reason, he knew paranoia wasn't one of his better points.  
  
He looked around and counted the other sleeping bodies near him. Sure enough, there were three other people asleep beside him. They were almost just like a perfect family. His dad didn't have any vices, anymore that is since his wife would make sure of that. Then he had a playful little sister, a little girl who knew of nothing other than to play with her friends and enjoy life, no matter how short and fleeting it may be.  
  
Yet, he still felt like there was something missing.  
  
He knew that when he was back at Lampdragon, he felt more secure, more content with his life, even though his life was not exactly what someone would call a dream.  
  
Maybe it was because he knew everyone from before. Their existence was already etched onto his brain but now that they were gone, it seemed like everything that he had come to learn and love was nothing more than a passing dream, fading ever so slowly as the morning wipes them away. So many people and so many lives aren't here anymore. All that he has left are three other people who survived what he has.  
  
Only three... And now he hoped that someone else had survived the incident.  
  
How many times has he thought of the boy? Hundreds of times within a day, thousands of times within a week and more than the sand on the shores of the worlds beaches within his lifetime. That sense of completion was not there without this boy that he loved so much.  
  
He chuckled at himself for being so sentimental. Sentimentality was more than not needed, it was something that he knew he should throw away since it didn't really help him in anyway. The more he thought about the past, the more he knew that he should just move on.  
  
Moving on wasn't easy. You and I can say that for ourselves. What more for this confused boy who wanted nothing less than to turn back the hands of time and relive all those moments, the sad and the joyful, with the people he remembered. If only he had been born again in the exact same place that he was born in. If only he could have done this, then maybe those now deceased could live and walk the land. If only...  
  
[ If only ] was probably the most pointless phrase in the English language. The two words that losers use. The word that brings about the most doubts. The word that he knew he loved to use. Didn't we as well? Aren't we, as human beings, hopelessly going to be destined to live our days wishing to change our mistakes? It's a natural need, to be perfect by undoing mistakes, but I guess this is what makes us human beings so charming. All those mistakes that we do and all the times we agonize over how we could have altered the course of history by doing something else.  
  
And now you say that he should move on? How hypocritical.  
  
(Fumi... It's lonely here without you...) Another thing about human beings is that strange emotion we call loneliness. What does it do? It doesn't do anything beneficial and oftentimes just hinders the progress of any human being overall. Yet it plagued everyone constantly. From the richest king to the poorest peasant, the sense of longing for company was there.  
  
And sometimes, we can't go to sleep because of it.  
  
* * *  
  
"So... You heading for Greenhill to study runes, huh?" Chako asked Fumi as he swung his clawed feet in the air as they sat on a large branch of a mahogany tree. Chako found it strange, the fact that this human could climb this high without getting tired and getting up here without help was something most other humans could never do. Yet he was strong and here he was, in a place that only the Wingers of Two River had previously accessed, chatting with a winger that disliked humans the same way cats and dogs do each other. Fate had a strange way of putting two people together...  
  
"Yep, going there to study runes and earn some cash from bounty hunting, if I'm lucky." There it was, that strange look that he often got from people when he said that he was a bounty hunter. "You? A bounty hunter? You're kidding, right?" Chako was just about to laugh when he realize that that wouldn't be the best thing to do, considering the fact that he was trying to be really friendly with him, a winger.  
  
"What is it with the fact that I'm a bounty hunter? Everyone seems to think that I'm not fit for it or something!" He laughed at himself, probably for realizing the fact that everyone probably thought that he was either too nice or just not made for this kind of work. "Actually, Fumi... You're a real nice guy and maybe that's why I can't think of you as a bounty hunter."  
  
"Think of it this way Fumi: Right now, you just struck a conversation with someone that tried to steal whatever it was that you had with you. The normal reaction that people would give to being robbed would be shock or in the least, anger. How can I expect you to kill somebody if you're so friendly?" Now Fumi just had to laugh even more at himself. Yes, maybe he was far too friendly with the rest of the world. Yes, maybe he was a little weird when it came to interpersonal relationships. No wonder he was always viewed as a pacifist...  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't really think of myself as being such a nice guy, but I don't think my own view of myself matters, right?" Chako nodded. "What about you Chako? I'm sure people can't tell right away that you're really a good kid." Chako smiled and blushed, probably because this was a compliment that was coming from a human of all people.  
  
"I try not to act too good in front of people. After all, people already have me fixed as some kind of street-thug like boy so why go through all the trouble of changing?" Fumi had to agree with him. He's already had this impression on so many people that trying to change wouldn't even work. And besides, if you're happy the way you are, is there any reason for you to alter your image? "What about your family?"  
  
"My family? I've got a bitch of a sister, an overbearing granny and a certain person that calls himself my older brother, although I think he's some kind of creepy psycho who just enjoys the fact that he scares me. It's not much of a family, is it?"   
  
"At least you have a family. I'm an orphan."  
  
"I... I'm so sorry. You must have someone that cares for you, right? I mean, you can't have lived this long without the help of others, right?" Yeah, there were people that cared for him back at Lampdragon. People that he cared for as well... "Yeah, there are. I love them lots..."  
  
"And you've just got to have a lover! I mean, you're good looking, smart, strong and a guy with a great personality. You're one heluva package, Fumi." Now that he thought about it, he wasn't thinking of Koyu as much as before but now that this otherwise complete stranger mentioned it... He missed Koyu like hell.  
  
A lover... How much he missed that.  
  
"Yeah... I do love someone..." Chako slapped Fumi on the back, not strong enough however to knock him off balance, just strong enough to get his attention. "Who's the lucky person?"  
  
Lucky? Was Koyu really lucky to have him? He thought that he was lucky to have Koyu!  
  
"That person's name is Koyu..."   
  
"Koyu..." Chako echoed. "Koyu's a strange name for a girl. But I'm sure she's really pretty!" Now that, was one that he couldn't just let go off. He laughed so hard that he almost fell backwards, before he was able to grab hold of the branch and maintain his seat.  
  
"You're right... Koyu is a strange name for a girl... Thank god Koyu's a boy."  
  
A pause. He looks at him strangely. Every second that passes between the two slowly brings that sense of uneasiness inside of Fumi. If there's one thing he learned in all his years of living, there are a whole lot more homophobes out there than you give the world credit for.  
  
(Oh shit! Why'd I have to go and spill all the beans on this person I'd met only fifteen minutes ago?) he mentally slaps himself, seeing that his body just won't listen to his own commands. not until he hears from Chako that is...  
  
Chako laughs and the tension is broken.   
  
"Now that's something I never saw coming! First you tell me you're a bounty hunter and now you tell me you're a GAY, pardon the term, bounty hunter? What's next Fumi? You also happen to be the king of Highland?" He laughs out loud once more, this time enough for him to fall off backwards. Fumi panics, he looks down... And sees Chako flying upwards.  
  
"That was close!" They look at each other for some time, then all of a sudden they burst out in laughter...  
  
It never hurt to have friends. It also never hurt to try and make friends.  
  
* * *  
  
"So, you leavin' for Greenhill now?" He wanted to stay a little longer, try and chat with a bunch of other guys but he knew that he should really get moving. After all, Greenhill isn't going to come to him!  
  
"Yeah, the sooner I get there, the better. It's been nice knowing you Chako." Chako swipes a punch at Fumi's arm as he puts on this mock-irritated face. "Hey! This isn't the last time we're gonna meet, okay? I'm sure we'll bump into one another sometime!" Fumi smiles, waves and before long is gone from Chako's sight, blending in with the darkness of the 2'0clock night.  
  
"That's one heck of a guy..." Chako turned his back and began the slow walk back to his wooden house back in the winger district. It wasn't because he didn't want to go back, it's just that he regrets having to say goodbye to this person who had regarded him as someone beyond race. He wanted to call him back but he knew he couldn't.  
  
He was just some poor kid living his life as a thief, after all.  
  
- End chapter seven - 


	9. Love is

Chapter Eight: Love is...  
Location: Tigermouth Village (Flashback)  
(Don't mess with me people! I'm warning you guys, don't mess with me! You just might get me mushier than I am now... And you wouldn't like it if I become mushy... =\ And by the way, if you think this chapter's a little confusing, don't think it's just you... Even I got confused!)  
  
---  
  
Eerily, he found that the day seemed to move on now in total monotony. There was nothing new; nothing exciting that brought his blood to a boil. Rather, he was here, tilling soil for planting for some other guy that he didn't even know the name of. He was hired help.... How degrading, he thought. Even eerier, this wasn't the way he was thinking several days back.  
  
He thought he was happy here, instead he found out that he was more comfortable with the idea of having something really blunt embedded in the front of his forehead. Why was he bore so quickly? no, an even better question would be, why was he bored at all?  
  
He was happy before, being a simple boy doing simple work for simple people. What was there for him to do? He didn't want any more complications in his life. He didn't want to have to put himself in perpetual danger for God knows what reason! He should be content with what was happening now but he just wasn't! Life was beginning to drag into a very sad state...  
  
He wipes his brow with his forearm, sweat dripping in heavy portions. He looks around, absorbing into his head the bland scenery of such a simple town.  
  
What was there to take in anyway? What once started off as just being boring was now beginning to get insanely irritating...  
  
But did he have any choice in the matter? There was none at all, right? So he took the hoe in hand once more, and began his repetitive job yet again...  
  
Lift... Then drop.  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was about noon time already and he was happy that the city of Greenhill was just over the horizon. Soon enough he was going to become an expert at using runes and maybe then he could die happy, knowing that at least he's fulfilled one dream from his unbelievably long list of want-to-do's.  
  
And besides, he had more than one incentive to hurry up to get to Greenhill. This heat was blistering!  
  
* * * * *  
  
He hacked the piece of wood into two clean pieces, both flying far away in opposite directions. To his left and to his right, there were two stacks of misarranged firewood, half from the fact that he wasn't really concentrating and half at the discomfort of the seething sunlight. It was an absurdly hot day and he wasn't even sure as to why he even went out to chop down trees. Getting away from boredom was nothing compared to his desire to get away from the heat...  
  
But he had other reasons, more strange reasons to get out of the inn. One of it was Lo Wen.  
  
He wasn't doubting his wife, by the bottles that she threw at him, he wasn't doubting her! He was thinking more of why he had ever taken her as his bride and why she even thought of taking a slob like him for a husband. He wasn't the best looking guy in Lampdragon and he definitely wasn't the wittiest but still, the two of them got married and were legally and religiously one body. And why did he take Lo Wen, the legendary man killer? (He had always wondered why they called her that and after the honeymoon, he realized that there were so many reasons...) When did the two of them realize that they wanted one another?   
More importantly...  
  
What ever got into their heads when they said that they wanted to marry? They must have been drunk when they thought of that. Yeah, being drunk and saying crazy things seemed like what they would do... yeah, that's it, Alcohol.... Good ol' Alcohol must've done its job once again...  
  
He swung again, this time missing the log standing upright. Strange... He didn't even take a sip of ale since yesterday...  
  
* * * * *  
  
"It is soooooo hot..." Koyu moaned as he sat, tired, under a huge tree that served as his only form of protection from that stupid burning ball in the sky. His skin was getting noticeably darker and he was beginning to get really sick of having to go out in this heat day after day after day. It was beginning to become a pretty redundant routine...  
  
He smiled a bit, wiped his brow again, and leaned forward, his head hanging limply on his neck. "I wanna go somewhere else... Maybe if I just go around the world in random directions, I'll bump into Fumi again..." What a crazy idea, he realized. The world was too big for searching and ultimately makes the saying "A needle in a haystack" an outrageous understatement.  
  
Come to think of it... Why did he love Fumi so much anyway? What was it about this young man that he liked so much? Why would he, an immature boy of thirteen, fall head over heels for this thieving, lanky boy of seventeen? What was it that attracted him in the first place? He can't even remember the first time they realized that they did indeed love each other, much less the reason for loving him the way he did!  
  
Who knows when loves starts?  
  
More than friends but not yet lovers. A delicate friendship that walks on a very thin line made by two hearts. A line that has to stop at one point...  
  
Ultimately, the line stopped and then they knew that there was no more room for 'Just friends.' They weren't just 'friends', they were so much more than that and in a way that it startled even the two of them. Why love someone so much for no reason at all? There has to be a reason why that line stopped, but he just couldn't tell what it was...  
  
Who indeed knows when love starts?  
  
* * * * *  
  
An hour after the last time he even tried to chop a piece of wood.   
  
A very long hour spent playing a crazy game against boredom. Boredom was a very, very good player... But the mind of a tired person is better...  
  
"Come to think of it... Why _did_ Lo Wen choose me? She never liked any man before and for heavens sake, I don't think that the thought of marriage ever even knocked on her stubborn head at least once!" Somehow, he knew that he should be thankful that he was married to a woman like her. She was different and she didn't demand to be taken care of. She could take care of herself better than anyone else could. (Lucky for him. Gijimu wasn't all that responsible when caring for a woman's feelings.) But there were times when he also thought that a simpler, more womanly woman would suit his tastes more. (If Lo Wen heard that, he'd be kissing his own ass from today on!) But he was already married to her and there was no possible way to revoke a marriage other than to kill your spouse.  
  
Lo Wen would probably kill him before he even got the idea.  
  
"Love is crazy." He said to himself as he looked up at the blue sky from beneath the trees.  
  
Who else thinks love is a crazy thing?  
  
* * * * *  
  
And now, it's all dark. The hours have droned by and now I'm here, walking home from the fields. The sun's all blotted out by the mountains in the distance and the faint glitter of the moon is seen in the sky.  
  
Sound; all gone already. A silence, one that does not evocate a sense of eeriness, rather, it is a silence that seems to calm yet seems to awaken things that I've never noticed in myself.  
  
It's times like this that I remember that there are other things in the workings of a mans heartstrings other than love.  
  
When the sun is gone and all the sound isn't even making it's self known, that's when it strikes. When you know that there's nothing left but to sleep and wake up to a new day... When you lie on your bed, clutching your cold blanket and trying vainly to sleep...  
  
That's when that thing called 'loneliness' comes. No, it doesn't come in the way we think it does. Loneliness is a part of human existence. It's always been there and it will always stay there and wait for the right time to remind you that you are still only one person against an entire world. Always ready to jerk you back from your lofty dreams of finding someone perfect for you...  
  
I can't understand this feeling... Loneliness is even more complex than love itself. Or is loneliness just love that was never fulfilled? Do we love and in turn fall into loneliness because we try so hard to show emotions that were best left alone?  
  
Is loneliness the unbridled ramifications of a sad, mislead heart?  
  
Am I the only one who feels it? Am I the only one who knows that he's alone? I may be a boy but I'm still human... And humans are a generally imperfect race.  
  
Why do men seek women and why do women seek men?  
  
So many questions yet no one tries to answer. No one understands me and no one understands my questions. No one really has the answers...   
  
How lonely...  
  
And now all I do is walk silently, my own quiet self adding up to the overwhelming lonely lack of sound all around me. I can't think straight anymore... I don't want to think about love anymore... He's gone and he's probably never going to show himself up ever again...  
  
How lonely indeed...  
  
"Love is to feel empty..." He said silently, almost like that of a ghost's whisper from afar.  
  
---  
  
All that I see around me are just walls. I know what walls are for. They're used to keep things out of a specific space. I know what I need to know and I know what everyone else does. But does that mean I don't have to understand that gut sensation we all have to undergo at least once in our lives?  
  
It's been another day of nothing. There's nothing really to look forward to anymore. The magic of everyday no longer exists and now every time I wake up... I seem to feel heavier and heavier. My feet don't want to move and my body resists what my mind tells it to do. Monotony, monotony, monotony...  
  
Those fun times I had with that crazy boy were gone, faded into the bleak shadow of ones own memory. There were no more moments that were unexpected. Moments when he would suddenly jump at me from behind with the skill of royal assassins, always making me jump high into the air whenever he did so. No more times when we would relish in the feeling of a passionate kiss, when we would lose ourselves in the feeling of being in one another's arms and rolling on the grass, bodies clasping one another like there was going to be no tomorrow...  
  
Maybe there was no tomorrow then. Maybe, at least, for Fumi and maybe for myself as well.  
  
A cruel world works with cruel fate...  
  
Why does it always have to rain on me?  
  
Maybe tomorrow... Maybe tomorrow... Maybe tomorrow...  
  
Maybe it'll be different. Maybe he'd be there, waiting for me, ready to embrace me the way he did before.  
  
I laugh at myself. I seem to have not realized my predicament. I finally understood what love is.  
  
Love is a bitch.  
  
Love is...  
  
-- End chapter eight -- 


End file.
